I found myself walking up the path. With every thought and memory, my body tensed. The sounds of animals surrounded me on either side. I quickened my pace periodically as if I was running away from something. My head was like a labryinth and with every turn I made I found myself further in and with less of an idea of where to… and with an even lesser idea of where I had been. Just a little further I kept thinking to myself. I have to see it. I have to be there again.
Soon I found the familiar steps and made my way up. With every step I took I could see the horizon open up to me. I could see the field in front of me and with a glance up at the sky I could see the thousands of stars above me… and the moon so big I could’ve sworn I could touch it. I thought of Van Gough’s painting, Starry Night. was it this same feeling, this same imperative that gave him the vision to paint? Did he really see God’s grace? Do I?
I fell back and sat myself against that familiar tree. I took a deep breath, looked up once more and then arched myself with my head down as if I finished some grand journey. As the wind picked up, I shivered not by the cold it produced, but by the feeling I felt inside. I pictured her once more… closed my eyes… and then felt it, but for an instant. I rolled my hands into fists and just as quickly let them fall. Maybe I was going insane. I let out a chuckle at the thought and decided that insanity had to be better than emptiness. As I let go of that anger, I felt her around me once more… her arms draped around me… her face next to mine. In a few moments, I drifted off into sleep under the burgeoning skies of the heavens.